Get the turf outta my shirt!

4pm home soccer game today. Sweet, can't wait, let's go. Arrive at field, sit in the grass, because only the parents sit in the bleachers. But wait, that's not actual grass, it just looks like it! What is this fake nonsense! It's turf, and it's going to be a part of your life forever.

We've all had it before. You go to support your friends and you end up covered in black dots. You brush them off in one place just to notice them everywhere else on you. Usually what I end up doing is throwing handfuls of them at people. At least that's entertaining right?

Turf is a relatively new addition to the ever changing world of sports. According to good old Wikipedia it entered the industry in the late 1990's and has exploded since then. There are many positive features of turf. Since it is cushioned, it improves safety and allows players to pivot and turn easier than normal grass would. Downfalls include the fact that is indeed fake grass and it's extremely hot.

So, clearly to make this a reliable blog I had to ask real life soccer stars what it's like to play on turf and if they prefer it over grass. I explored the library and found a few players on the Trinity girls team. According to them, it is worth the risk of finding turf everywhere on them after a game to play on it because it makes for a smoother game. As a fan, I'm a little more skeptical.

I asked our friends from the soccer team if they could think of ways to get "those little black thingies" all over them. They suggested to bring a blanket. Valid point. However, I'm pretty sure I've sat through a game on a blanket and still wondered how I had a handful of those black nuisances in each of my pockets of my pants and in my shoes and up my nose and a million other places. So the blanket idea is great in theory but there's got to be a better way.

So here's a list, I would not say that it is exhaustive in anyway. I'm sure there are more ways to avoid getting turf everywhere.

Sit on other people.
Bleachers....loser status, but I've done it before.
Install a blower or 8 on the fences and you stand under it and it blows all the turf off of you.
Bring a lazy-boy chair.
Watch the game from a blimp or hot air balloon.
Hire people to carry you around during the game. This is a potential work study idea yea?
Pretend that it's not there, and then it won't be there.
Bring that nasty bean bag from West Hall basement and sit on that. Eh, maybe turf's worth it.

For the most part, I think it's just time for us all to accept that turf will always be a part of our lives here at Trinity. In our clothes, in our cars, in our beds, closets, bathrooms etc. These little creatures have successfully invaded our lives and it's ok, because I'm going to support the soccer teams anyway.

And at least it's not sand....